Hello, my fellow writer friends,
Today, let’s
discuss how to correctly format and punctuate dialogue. It seems that dialogue punctuation and correct dialogue tags are
a hard concept for a lot of writers to grasp. Or maybe you just need a refresher on crafting dialogue and using dialogue tags.
The
incorrect use of dialogue tags in most self-published
fiction can create author intrusion. Even if you see
other authors doing this, please don’t try to force a facial expression, sound, reaction, or a body
movement into a dialogue tag. There should be a full stop (period / no comma)
inside the quotation mark.
It is usually better to place the dialogue tag after the dialogue to keep it invisible and any action in front of
the dialogue. As with any writing rules, there are always exceptions.
First
off, each character gets their own dialogue paragraph. The thoughts, reactions,
and actions of the POV character or any other characters should start on a new paragraph and
not be included with the speaker’s dialogue.
Incorrect:
“I
don’t want to go to the party, Elle,” he said. My heart pinched because I’d been
looking forward to going all week. Now I was really bummed that he didn’t want
to go.
Correct:
“I
don’t want to go to the party, Elle,” he said.
My
heart pinched because I’d been looking forward to going all week. Now I was
really bummed that he didn’t want to go.
Incorrect:
Danny
glared. “I said I’d mow the lawn after I watch the game.” His harsh voice
caused her to flinch. She glowered back at him and crossed her arms.
Correct:
Danny
glared. “I said I’d mow the lawn after I watch the game.”
His
harsh voice caused her to flinch. She glowered back at him and crossed her arms.
~ ~ ~
Here are a few examples to illustrate my point of correct punctuation and dialogue tags:
Sneer
(facial expression): “You will die tonight,” he sneered.
Correct: He
sneered. “You’ll die tonight.”
Nod
(action beat): “I understand,” he nodded.
Correct: He
nodded. “I understand.”
Shrug
(action beat): “I am not really sure,” she shrugged.
Correct: “I am
not really sure.” She shrugged.
Smile/grin
(facial expression): “I would love to go,” she smiled.
Correct: She
smiled. “I would love to go.”
Laugh
(a sound): “I adore clowns,” I laughed.
Correct: “I adore
clowns.” I laughed.
Scoff
(facial expression): “You are a terrible dancer,” he scoffed.
Correct: He
scoffed. “You are a terrible dancer.”
Hissed
(a sound): “You’ll never get away with it,” he hissed. (Unless you’re a cat or
snake, you can’t hiss words. And this tag gets so overused!)
Correct: “You’ll
never get away with it.” His low voice was full of menace.
Groan
(a sound): “But I don’t wanna clean my room,” she groaned.
Correct: “But I don’t wanna clean my
room.” She groaned.
Grunt
(a sound): “I haven’t seen the stupid dog,” he grunted.
Correct: He
grunted. “I haven’t seen the stupid dog.”
Sigh
(action/sound): “I think he’s dreamy,” she sighed.
Correct: “I think
he’s dreamy.” She sighed.
Frown
(facial expression): “What are you talking about? I don't have a cat,” he frowned.
Correct: He
frowned. “What are you talking about? I don't have a cat.”
Scowl
(facial expression): “Get out of my house!” she scowled.
Correct: She
scowled. “Get out of my house!”
Breath (action):
“I love you,” she breathed. (People breathe air, not words.)
Correct: “I love
you,” she said, her voice sounding breathy.
Gasped
(a sound): “I heard a noise upstairs,” she gasped, “there! I heard it again.”
Correct: “I heard
a noise upstairs.” She gasped. “There! I heard it again.”
Shriek
(a sound/scream): “No way,” she shrieked, “I don’t believe it!”
Correct: “No
way.” She shrieked. “I don’t believe it!”
Mused
(a thought): “I wonder where this path leads,” she mused.
Correct: She
studied the path. “Huh. I wonder where it leads.”
Sobbed
(action / crying): “I can’t find my puppy,” she sobbed. "I've lost him."
Correct: “I can’t
find my puppy.” She sobbed. "I've lost him."
Moan (a sound): “I hate going to bingo,” he moaned.
Correct: “I hate going to bingo.” He moaned.
Huff/Huffed (a sound / blowing out air): “You shouldn't have gone to the movies without asking," she huffed.
Correct: “You shouldn't have gone to the movies without asking." She huffed.
Screech (a sound / loud, harsh, squealing noise or scream): “There's a man outside my window,” she screeched. "By the rosebushes."
Correct: “There's a man outside my window!" She screeched. “By the rosebushes.”
~ ~ ~
I
hope these tips and examples help you to polish your own narrative. If you have
any questions, please leave me a comment.
Have a creative and productive day!
~SA Soule
